Story and photos by Laura Scharf
You passed all your classes and exams. The prom was great, the graduation
party plans are in full swing, and it's time for the cap and gown.
Just as they say in the speeches, graduation isn't the end. It's the
beginning of a new chapter of your life.
Friends who you've grown up with are going off in a lot of different
directions.
Some are going away to college, and some are continuing their education
in community colleges, nursing or technical schools at home.
Some will be starting jobs. Some are joining the military. And then
there are those who aren't sure what they're going to do.
While there are some high school graduates who have a very clear vision
for their future ("I've always wanted to be a doctor, policeman,
teacher or actor"), more often, graduates leaving high school
are not quite sure what they want to do when they "grow up."
Staying in school gives you time to learn more about yourself and
to keep your options open. A college or technical school diploma opens
doors that are often closed to students who only have high school
diplomas or GEDs.
Sometimes, a teen needs more time to figure out what they want to
do next.
Whatever your decision, your life as you know it is going to undergo
some big changes.
Words of Wisdom for the Graduates
In a graduation speech, Bill Gates, founder of Microsoft and one of
the world's richest men, quoted from a book Dumbing Down Our Kids
by Charles Sykes. Among his words of wisdom to the graduates:
• "Life is not fair. Get used to it."
• "If you mess up, it's not your parents' fault, so don't
whine about your mistakes, learn from them."
• "Be nice to nerds. Chances are, you'll wind up working
for one."
Jim Bennett, a guidance counselor at Peekskill High School, urges
students to make a plan whether they're going to college or not.
"Make a one-year plan, a three-year plan, and a five-year plan,"
he suggests. "Put the plan in writing, and then tell someone
about it. You're more likely to stick with your plan if you've told
someone about it. Check in with yourself periodically to see if you're
on track."
"Education is a lifelong process," he says, "The world
is changing rapidly. We all need to learn new skills, whether you're
graduating high school, college or have an advanced degree."
Going Away to College
If you're leaving for college for the first time, be prepared for
some big adventures. You'll be meeting people who are different from
the friends you grew up with, and you'll be in charge of your schedule
without having a devoted parent to remind you that it's time for homework.
Many students have a tough time managing their new independence. There
are so many interesting new people to spend time with, and teachers
don't check your homework every day the way they did when you were
young. It's up to you to keep up with your workload, and to ask for
help when you need it.
"Learning to organize your time is critical," say the guidance
counselors at Lakeland and Walter Panas High Schools. "This means
creating a schedule by planning in reverse from the due dates and
breaking assignments down into manageable pieces."
"The best time to do your work," they say," is during
the day between classes when distractions are at a minimum."
Phil Kavanagh, Lakeland's District Director of Guidance, urges students
to tap into campus resources and to become advocates for themselves.
"Remember, these resources will not find you. You must seek them
out."
Every college and every dorm have counselors who can help you. If
you don't get along with your roommate, tell someone. If a course
is too difficult, ask for help. Many students feel they have to "tough
it out," and don't admit they need some extra help. Your college
wants you to succeed, and will usually do whatever it takes to get
you the support you need.
Be responsible. You owe it to yourself and your family. You worked
hard to get to college, so don't blow it by drinking too much, partying
too much, not doing your work, and not taking care of your health.
Enjoy the freedom, but remember with freedom comes responsibility.
Peekskill High School guidance counselor Jim Bennett says it's tough
for some students to deal with the new freedom of college.
"Students have to find a balance. They have to learn to work
before they play.
"Students don't always realize that the greatest rewards come
from doing something meaningful, not just from kicking back and enjoying
themselves," he continued. "It's great to celebrate your
successes, but not to an extreme."
The Lakeland and Walter Panas High School guidance counselors urge
new students to become involved with their campus community.
"Your degree of satisfaction with your college experience will
often be directly related to the degree to which you become involved
in an extra-curricular club, sport or other campus organization,"
they said. "In addition to the fact that you will be happier
as a result of engaging in positive, non-academic activities, you
are also beginning to build a resume."
Advice to the Graduates' Parents
Graduation is a time of adjustment for parents, too.
Before your teen goes off to college, try to sit down and have a talk
(no, not that talk!) about money management. Work out a system you
and your teen can live with for taking care of expenses.
A debit card with no overdraft privileges is usually the safest way
for a teen to have a financial safety net if they're not used to managing
money. They can't spend more than they've got in their account. If
your teen is more mature, you might get them a credit card with a
low limit so they can't use their new freedom to incur big debts.
Some teens can manage a checking account, but others may not be ready
yet.
It's hard to find a balance between letting go and keeping a watchful
eye on your teen when he or she leaves home for the first time. With
e-mail and cell phones, it's easy to keep in touch, but sometimes
you have to step back and let them try to survive on their own without
monitoring every move they make.
Reassure your teen that you are always available if they need you,
but don't expect them to call or write every day.
Be ready for the "Mommy, I don't feel good" phone call the
first time they get sick. Just listen, be sympathetic and give advice.
Do not get in the car to drive to their dorm!
Even though it's tempting, after your teen leaves for school, don't
clean out their room. Before you know it, they'll be home for Thanksgiving.
Living at Home
Many students choose to stay home and continue their education on
a full-time or part-time basis. Whether you choose a four-year or
community college, a technical or trade school or nursing school,
there are definitely benefits to living at home. Your surroundings
are familiar, and you're saving a lot of money.
Many of the same temptations can hold true for a student living at
home as for a student away at school, and the same suggestions apply.
Don't abuse your independence, be responsible and get involved in
school activities.
One of the best ways to help your family to recognize that you're
no longer in high school is by acting more maturely.
Out Into the Work World
College isn't for everyone. Some people are clear about wanting a
career that doesn't require classroom training, while others want
to take a break for a while before going back to school.
If you're graduating high school and planning to look for a job, one
good place to start is at the New York State Employment Office in
Peekskill (914-737-3490). They'll help you put a resume together,
assess your skills and interests, and tell you about jobs that are
available in our area.
If you have an idea what you might want to do, try to find a mentor
in that field who can give you some guidance. Most people are glad
to help.
Read the employment opportunity ads in the PennySaver and local newspapers.
There are many opportunities you may not have considered.
It's Your Life. Take Control.
Matt Stebbins, a 2002 graduate of Lakeland High School, knew that
he didn't want to go to college.
He studied Heating, Ventilation and Air Conditioning (HVAC) in the
Tech Program at BOCES in Yorktown, and now, four years later, he and
his dad have a successful kitchen and bathroom remodeling business,
IKB Kitchens and Baths.
"Working with my dad was an easier path," Stebbins said.
"I knew what I was getting into."
"If you're going directly to work after high school, try to find
something you really enjoy doing," he advises. "Look around.
Do some research. Talk to people. See what jobs are available, what
they pay and what benefits they offer.
"Check out the unions. They have great training programs, and
you gain on-the-job experience.
"It's OK to try out a few different jobs until you find something
you like doing.
"Make sure you like what you do. Otherwise, you're not going
to want to get up in the morning. It's your life. Take control."
Not Sure What to Do
There's no rule that says you have to decide what you're going to
do for the next few years in your senior year of high school. Some
teens are just not ready to decide. In Europe, many students work
for a year after high school before going on to college. It gives
them a chance to mature a little more, and to learn about all of the
options that are open to them.
So, at graduation, if you find yourself without a school in your future,
make the most of this time in your life. Usually, you don't have the
financial responsibilities you'll acquire later in your life, so you
can take a job that interests you even if it doesn't pay well. You
might try volunteering in a field that interests you.
Start building a resume. Even if you're working at a store in the
mall, you're developing people skills and management skills. You're
demonstrating responsibility and learning good work habits.
When you're 16, 17 or 18, you may not be ready to decide on a career
path, so for the time being, just start somewhere. You can always
change directions as you go.
Making the Right Choice
Melissa Newman of Yorktown always knew that she wanted to go to college.
She's bright, and did well in school.
"As high school students, we were under a lot of pressure to
know what we wanted to do," she says. "We spent our lives
planning for college. You think you're prepared, but you're not."
She chose a college with a dorm in Manhattan and was looking forward
to living in the dorm because she loved doing things in the city.
After attending a small private school in Westchester and spending
most of her time with a group of close friends in Yorktown who she
had known since she was a child, when she started college, she was
suddenly thrust into an alien environment, surrounded by people she
wasn't comfortable with.
"It's important to pick a school that has people you want to
be around," she says.
Midway through her first semester, she realized that she hadn't made
a good choice. She dropped out, much to her family's dismay.
"Don't let anyone tell you that what you're doing is wrong. I
know a lot of people who stayed in a school where they were miserable
because their families and friends told them it would be a mistake
to leave, so they waste two years drinking or just not doing their
work until they finally drop out or fail out because they're very
unhappy."
Newman says she needed some time to think, and to figure out on her
own what she wanted to do. Now, after three years of working full-time,
she's gone back to college.
"Now, I know what I want to do and how to do it."
She's taking courses at Westchester Community College this year, and
plans to transfer to a four-year college next year to pursue a degree
in journalism.
"I'm older now, and hopefully a little wiser," she says.
